Now, before I begin this post I will do something I have always been told I must never do—apologize for a presentation I made, or apologize for a presentation I am about to make. I am going to do the later, but only because I want to acknowledge that this post may be a little more “cerebral” than others. The reason for that is not because of its superior intellectual quality, but because of my inability to fully satisfy my appeal. That would require many conversations beyond this post; of which I am always delighted for among friends. So, if one, or two, or several of you are up for that, you must let me know and we will have a wonderful time closing down a coffee shop (Starbucks), or a pizza restaurant (your choice). I would have been a wonderful Frenchman--a pot of fondue, a good bottle of wine, and a conversation until the wee hours of the morning. That's living! In the vacuum of that, this post is about a challenge to think; to think about the importance of truth for growing healthy relationships. Specifically, biblical truth from which this writer writes.
Thinking about truth is not a virtue of the 21st century; feeling is. That is the hard part in all our thinking. We "amused ourselves to death" as Niel Postman wrote. If that is as true for you as it is for me, then I ask you to do three things: cut me some slack, don't be quick to dismiss me, and think for yourself. But above all, think! Thinking is what I want you to do. Thinking with me is what I want to do with you. And thinking like me is only appreciated if you are being true to yourself. We must prize and protect freedom of thought and conscience. The Bible does not compel conformity but calls for consideration; come and see. Does that make sense? With that, I proceed...
In a spirit of cynicism, the first century Roman Procurator Pontius Pilate terminated his interrogation of Jesus with a passing question: “What is truth?” Pilate was belligerently apathetic. Is there such a thing upon which two can agree? Does it matter? If there is no truth upon which two can agree, then there can be no wisdom for wisdom proceeds from the common embrace of truth.
Thinking about truth is not a virtue of the 21st century; feeling is. That is the hard part in all our thinking. We "amused ourselves to death" as Niel Postman wrote. If that is as true for you as it is for me, then I ask you to do three things: cut me some slack, don't be quick to dismiss me, and think for yourself. But above all, think! Thinking is what I want you to do. Thinking with me is what I want to do with you. And thinking like me is only appreciated if you are being true to yourself. We must prize and protect freedom of thought and conscience. The Bible does not compel conformity but calls for consideration; come and see. Does that make sense? With that, I proceed...
In a spirit of cynicism, the first century Roman Procurator Pontius Pilate terminated his interrogation of Jesus with a passing question: “What is truth?” Pilate was belligerently apathetic. Is there such a thing upon which two can agree? Does it matter? If there is no truth upon which two can agree, then there can be no wisdom for wisdom proceeds from the common embrace of truth.
Johnny, don’t smoke cigarettes.
Why not?
Smoking causes lung cancer.
Who says so?
The Surgeon General said so. You can see his warning on every pack of cigarettes and read the studies upon which his warning is given.
That makes sense to me. Okay, I won’t smoke.
Wise choice!
The same is true for relational matters.
Adultery is wrong!
Why is that?
Because it defrauds another’s love by disloyalty; and fraudulent disloyalty breaks down trust; and trust is the basis of all satisfying and secure relationships. You will live a very miserable life if you can’t be trustworthy.
Who says so?
The Bible does. The Bible teaches that time-tested loyalty shows a person trustworthy. And trustworthiness, when accompanied with justice, mercy and love, is both attractive and satisfying.
Is that true for everyone?
Studies have shown the affect of trust in social relationships. Where trust is true, happy and secure relationships generally follow. And, where trust is defrauded or disregarded, unhappy relationships follow.
That makes sense. I will consider the Bible and its effect on social relationships.
Wise choice!
I just did a wedding for a couple last Saturday evening. When I do a wedding, I try to make it personal. In the brief time I had with the couple they revealed a lot about how they think. I was encouraged. At the ceremony, I mentioned that there is every reason to be encouraged about their ability to stand the test of time together. I did not say that tritely, but thoughtfully. I told them why. I told them that in the course of our discussions two things were clear. First, that they both understood the difference between commitment and compatibility. They expressed, without the slightest hesitation, their willingness to be committed to each other and expect compatibility to follow in time. Commitment keeps us steady to our course. Compatibility happens in the forging of two into one over a lifetime of ups and downs, good times and bad times. Second, they also revealed that they had some sense of common values upon which they could be committed. Without shared values, commitment is nothing more than a romantic notion and an empty hope.
What I did not tell them was that they are not out of the woods yet—perhaps they will read this post and will hear it now. In order to realize their promise to love one another for a lifetime, they will need to cultivate an ever growing sense of common values. But from where will true values come? I can’t answer that question for them or you. I am personally settled that the Bible holds the satisfying answers. I believe the Bible meets all people at the point of rational sensibility and relational satisfaction. In other words, the Bible appeals to the mind, emotions and will of mankind, promising delight in its keeping. But that’s my conviction. There is only one practical question that can justify my conviction for you—does it? That is a question that only you can answer. So, whether you believe the Bible as I do, or not, it is a matter within your freedom to consider Pilate's question: "What is truth?" Here is something specific to consider.
In the New Testament, we have two letters that are ‘penned’ by Peter. We call them, “First Peter” and “Second Peter”—clever titles, aren’t they? In Peter’s second letter he writes in the first chapter, “His divine power has granted to us everything we need for life and the living of life through the true knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.” That is merely a statement of provision. It tells the reader that “life” and “the practice of life” is provided in full. It also tells the reader where that life it is found, “…through the knowledge of God.” What's that? Practically, it is that knowledge is the Bible. You may sometimes hear the Bible called, “The Word of God.” That too is just another way of saying “the knowledge of God.” But what is it about that knowledge that appeals, in a satisfying way, to sensible reason and satisfying relationship?
Within the vast “knowledge of God,” the Bible says practical things like, “husbands love your wives…” and, “Wives, respect your husbands...” Upon understanding, those statements prove to be rationally and relationally satisfying. The Bible also calls for common attitudes like, “Marriage is to be held in honor among all.” That too is a satisfying way of thinking from the history of strong societies. The Bible says wise things like, “A gentle answer turns away anger, but a harsh word stirs up strife.” It doesn’t take long to see the wisdom in that proverb. The Bible speaks of good principles for healthy relationships like: loyalty in marriage, love for neighbors, gentleness when treated unjustly, and the need to understand before being understood. The Bible teaches relational skills like how to forgive, how to do justice, and how to walk humbly. The list is far greater than any one post can manage, actually any one library can manage. My point is merely a challenge to come and see, and embrace and live. Or, as the Old Testament psalmist wrote, “Taste and see that the Lord is good” (Psalm 34:8). Taste and see that the sum of what the Bible teaches is “life.” Taste how robust, full of laughter, formative in character, and sustaining in tribulation this “knowledge of God” is.
Did you see the musical, Fiddler on the Roof? What a charming musical! At one point Tevye sings a song; a toast to life! Can you hear the lyrics, “Drink L’Chaim, to Life, to Life, L’Chaim, L’Chaim, L’Chaim, to Life.” It is toast to the reality of a good life. Even though the moment does not yield the experience of a good life, nevertheless, life is there to be had. Like the farmer who has been granted a farm, rich in soil, with seed ready to plant, having all that is needed to work a crop to its greatest potential, so has life been granted by God. But how is that life lived in its fruitfulness? That leads us to the way of this practical pursuit; the work that embraces this good life.
In writing of that practical pursuit, Peter will use the term, “faith” to talk about the way this life is accessed. You will see it in the text below. This “faith” merely carries the idea of trust, confidence and active belief. We walk by faith; a faith that actively walks in “the knowledge of God”—those good character qualities mentioned above like loyalty, justice, mercy, humility and the like. You may have done that in a small way. For example, the Bible says things like, “Put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with on another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things, put on love which is the perfect bond of unity.” This is part of what is called “the knowledge of God.” If you were to consider that list, embracing any one or several of those virtues listed, commit to practicing them as a way of life , in a simple sense you would be walking in that faith. Now, that faith needs something to survive. That faith needs to be fortified or furnished with some strong character qualities. So Peter tells us:
What I did not tell them was that they are not out of the woods yet—perhaps they will read this post and will hear it now. In order to realize their promise to love one another for a lifetime, they will need to cultivate an ever growing sense of common values. But from where will true values come? I can’t answer that question for them or you. I am personally settled that the Bible holds the satisfying answers. I believe the Bible meets all people at the point of rational sensibility and relational satisfaction. In other words, the Bible appeals to the mind, emotions and will of mankind, promising delight in its keeping. But that’s my conviction. There is only one practical question that can justify my conviction for you—does it? That is a question that only you can answer. So, whether you believe the Bible as I do, or not, it is a matter within your freedom to consider Pilate's question: "What is truth?" Here is something specific to consider.
In the New Testament, we have two letters that are ‘penned’ by Peter. We call them, “First Peter” and “Second Peter”—clever titles, aren’t they? In Peter’s second letter he writes in the first chapter, “His divine power has granted to us everything we need for life and the living of life through the true knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.” That is merely a statement of provision. It tells the reader that “life” and “the practice of life” is provided in full. It also tells the reader where that life it is found, “…through the knowledge of God.” What's that? Practically, it is that knowledge is the Bible. You may sometimes hear the Bible called, “The Word of God.” That too is just another way of saying “the knowledge of God.” But what is it about that knowledge that appeals, in a satisfying way, to sensible reason and satisfying relationship?
Within the vast “knowledge of God,” the Bible says practical things like, “husbands love your wives…” and, “Wives, respect your husbands...” Upon understanding, those statements prove to be rationally and relationally satisfying. The Bible also calls for common attitudes like, “Marriage is to be held in honor among all.” That too is a satisfying way of thinking from the history of strong societies. The Bible says wise things like, “A gentle answer turns away anger, but a harsh word stirs up strife.” It doesn’t take long to see the wisdom in that proverb. The Bible speaks of good principles for healthy relationships like: loyalty in marriage, love for neighbors, gentleness when treated unjustly, and the need to understand before being understood. The Bible teaches relational skills like how to forgive, how to do justice, and how to walk humbly. The list is far greater than any one post can manage, actually any one library can manage. My point is merely a challenge to come and see, and embrace and live. Or, as the Old Testament psalmist wrote, “Taste and see that the Lord is good” (Psalm 34:8). Taste and see that the sum of what the Bible teaches is “life.” Taste how robust, full of laughter, formative in character, and sustaining in tribulation this “knowledge of God” is.
Did you see the musical, Fiddler on the Roof? What a charming musical! At one point Tevye sings a song; a toast to life! Can you hear the lyrics, “Drink L’Chaim, to Life, to Life, L’Chaim, L’Chaim, L’Chaim, to Life.” It is toast to the reality of a good life. Even though the moment does not yield the experience of a good life, nevertheless, life is there to be had. Like the farmer who has been granted a farm, rich in soil, with seed ready to plant, having all that is needed to work a crop to its greatest potential, so has life been granted by God. But how is that life lived in its fruitfulness? That leads us to the way of this practical pursuit; the work that embraces this good life.
In writing of that practical pursuit, Peter will use the term, “faith” to talk about the way this life is accessed. You will see it in the text below. This “faith” merely carries the idea of trust, confidence and active belief. We walk by faith; a faith that actively walks in “the knowledge of God”—those good character qualities mentioned above like loyalty, justice, mercy, humility and the like. You may have done that in a small way. For example, the Bible says things like, “Put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with on another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things, put on love which is the perfect bond of unity.” This is part of what is called “the knowledge of God.” If you were to consider that list, embracing any one or several of those virtues listed, commit to practicing them as a way of life , in a simple sense you would be walking in that faith. Now, that faith needs something to survive. That faith needs to be fortified or furnished with some strong character qualities. So Peter tells us:
Now...in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they render you neither useless nor unfruitful in the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For he who lacks these qualities is blind or short-sighted (2 Peter 1:5-9).
These fortified and furnished character qualities are what we will work with for the next few weeks. For now, notice a few general observations. First, these good virtues before you are seven in number. And, thave more to do with skillful disciplines than they do with specific character traits. For example, if I were to tell a baseball player to be honest before the umpire, that would be a specific character trait. But, if I were to tell that same baseball player to be understanding, competitive and fair, that would relate more to his or her discipline or dispositon that will enable the player to triumph as an excellent athlete. Peter has already spoken about the vast game of life. Now, he tells you to master the skills that will enable you to run excellently in the course of that life.
I will work with this passage in the weeks to come. For now, look carefully at the list of skillful disciplines that Peter calls one to add to his or her faith. If you look at each thoughtfully, perhaps you will see that they could be classified into three categories. The three complete the athlete in the pursuit of life. Here they are: The first category has two virtues associated with it—moral excellence and knowledge. These two include all that is involved in your standard of measure, your principles to live by, or the rules of the game by which you play. The second category has three virtues associated with it —self-control, perseverance and godliness. These relate to your inner disciplines, your strength of heart or your ability to internally fight for the win. The final category are two again—brotherly kindness and love. These two relate to your outward living, your work of life toward others, or the outward acts associated with playing of the game of life. Do you see their completeness? You are called to have an objective standard to live by; to have inner strength in order to fight for what is worthy to fight for, and be given to a form of life that makes a difference. This is the discipline that wins. It is the discipline that will enable a newly married couple to stand the test of time and win a love for a lifetime.
Wisdom Workouts:
Discuss with someone several matters of life:
- What do you think about how friendships should or should not be pursued outside of marriage? What do you think about the idea of role relationships of a man and woman in marriage; of children to parents; of a couple among society? What do you think are right ways and harmful ways to raise children?
Discuss these matters with the following questions in the background:
- From what common values am I expressing my thoughts and opinions? Are my thoughts and opinions a matter of preference, or conviction? How hard am I willing to fight for my thoughts? Does the person before me share my thoughts?
- If the person before you is your husband or wife, or person you are engaged to, what commitments will you make together toward a unified sense of purpose in these things—growing in understanding of them and commitment to live by them?
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